


A Prince of Two Hearts

by Isabel_Wall



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 03, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabel_Wall/pseuds/Isabel_Wall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Merlin is abducted by Cenred's men, Arthur swears to go to his aid with the help of Gwen, Gwaine and an overly-eager Morgana. In the ensuing adventure, Arthur and Merlin are left pondering the reasons for the abduction and accusations that their self sacrificing tendencies when the other is in danger may be fuelled by more than just friendship. Set near the end of series 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is set near the end of series 3, just after the Castle of Fyrien. This is my first ever fanfic so comments are appreciated to help me improve.

“Merlin!”

Arthur's shout reached Merlin's ears too late for him to do anything other than turn to see the club swing towards his face. The sickening crunch of wood on bone registered in Merlin's ears for a split second before blinding pain took over his entire body. Arthur watched helplessly as his servant and, dare he say it, friend crumpled on the floor with a soldier bearing Cenred's crest raising a sword above him to deliver the death blow. The soldier died with a grunt of pain as Arthur twisted his sword in his gut but Arthur's eyes did not leave Merlin's unconscious form.  He checked Merlin's neck to feel, with a great sigh of relief, the thrumming of his pulse. The battle had died down, only a few knights left battling Cenred's remaining men, so Arthur decided that he would not be missed and draped his friend over his soldiers to hurry him away.

*

Merlin rose groggily, his head throbbing painfully. The memories of the battle flooded back to him; the surprise attack of Cenred's men, burning the hand of a soldier with his own sword as he prepared to kill Arthur and hearing Arthur's cry as the club swung towards him. He glanced around in panic but he only saw the familiar setting of Gaius's study and the wooden tables with the odd chemicals and experiments bubbling away, often releasing strange smells into the air. Gaius himself was busy mashing some poor plant life into a pulp but as soon as he saw that Merlin was awake, he hastily set it down to rush over.

“Thank goodness you're finally awake, Arthur was sick with worry and he was not the only one.”

Merlin frowned sceptically at Gaius.

“Arthur was sick with worry? I'm sure he could find another servant to polish his armour or clean his boots.” Gaius chuckled as he produced a bowl of hot soup and, oblivious to Merlin's protests, began to forcefully spoon-feed him.

“He cares a great deal about you Merlin, he'd never admit it of course but he owes you a great deal. That's only the amount he's aware of.” Merlin swallowed the soup and his eyes watered as it burned his throat.

“He has a funny way of showing it, it's like he doesn't even care. It's all 'do this Merlin, do that Merlin, oh do you have important things to do? You can clean my armour instead.' For someone who owes me his life he could be a little more thankful.” Gaius sat on the end of his bed and looked at him sincerely.

“He did just save your life you know, he abandoned the battle to bring you to me. I've never seen him do that for anyone else.” His voice was calm and reassuring. “When you feel like you can walk,   you need to go and see him before he breaks into my chambers again.” Merlin felt confused but oddly warmed by Gaius's words and happily dressed to resume his duties as Arthur's servant. Though he would never admit it, he felt a strange enjoyment in being Arthur's servant. He tied his red neckerchief as he backed out of the door and headed to Arthur's chambers. He never arrived. A guard approached him, silver helmet concealing his face, but Merlin felt no suspicion of the man as his gruff voice called for him to stop.

“Are you Prince Arthur's servant?”  Merlin nodded in response and waited for a message, command or summons of some kind but the guard remained silent and glanced over Merlin's shoulder. Merlin followed his gaze but was interrupted by hands covering his eyes and forcing a cloth to his face. Merlin struggled against them and held his breath but his body failed him and forced him to inhale the chemical. His limbs sagged and he felt his head drooping, he had to get to Arthur. He had to get..to...

 

For the second time in the day, Merlin opened his eyes groggily. Only this time, he could feel a rough binding on his wrists and a hard stone floor on his back rather than a soft bed. A cold draft greeted his senses instead of the warmth exuded from the fire warming flasks of various potions.  A familiar cascade of dirty blonde hair blurred into focus as a soft voice spoke gently.

“It's good to see you again Merlin.” As he scanned the speaker's face, he felt a faint pang of fear.

“Likewise, Morgause.” The corner of her mouth turned upwards into a smirk that made Merlin grow cold. 

“Oh I hardly think it is good for you. Cenred and I are interested to see what Arthur's devoted servant actually means to him. I wonder if you can tell me.” A feeling of dread took hold as Merlin stammered to answer her.

“Nothing, I mean nothing. I'm just his servant.”  She narrowed her eyes intently.

“We'll see about that won't we? In my experience, a prince does not abandon a battle just to carry his unconscious servant away.” The door slammed shut with an echoing clang leaving Merlin alone in the darkness. He knew that he needed to get out of here, fast. The only hitch was that he had no idea where 'here' was.

*

“People don't just disappear, Gaius!” Arthur was topless as he paced the room angrily whilst Gaius stood in the doorway of his chambers patiently. 

“He was on his way to your chambers sire.” Arthur turned to face him.

“Then where is he?! Even Merlin couldn't get lost walking here!” Gaius kept his face passive to conceal the worry he felt inside.

“Have you tried the tavern sire?” Gaius could see Arthur's boiling rage and dearly hoped for a second that Merlin was in grave peril because it could not compare to what he would face if he bumbled in right now. The doors opened and Gwen appeared a look of concern upon her face.

“I heard shouting, is everything all right?” Arthur's face softened slightly when he saw Gwen until he noticed his bare chest. He ran behind the screen to dress, leaving Gaius to explain.

“So..Merlin is missing?” Gwen's soft features creased with worry.

“Since this morning, he had only just regained consciousness when he went to perform his duties. According to Arthur, he never arrived.”

“I don't understand. Why would anyone want to kidnap Merlin? He's a servant; Uther would never pay a ransom for a servant.” Gwen wondered aloud. Arthur emerged, fully dressed, and looked at them both expectantly.

“I can think of someone that would.” Gaius murmured so softly only he and Gwen could hear.

“We need to look for him. If he doesn't turn up by nightfall then I'll take a small party of knights. My father would never allow it so I'll have to tell him it's a hunting trip.” Gwen and Gaius exchanged looks and Arthur looked confused. “What?”

“Nothing sire, I'll return to my chambers to see if he goes back there.” Gaius left, leaving just Gwen and Arthur.

*

“You'll find him, Arthur. I know that you're worried but no one would abduct Merlin. Uther would never pay the ransom for a servant, don't you remember?” Arthur looked down at Gwen sadly; he could see that she was remembering her imprisonment by Morgause's hand. He took her hands in his and stroked her wrists gently, the image of the angry red marks left by the ropes. Imagining Merlin's wrists bound by the same material, pressing into his skin and burning those marks into his flesh was unthinkable. He cast away the thought quickly, Merlin wasn't imprisoned and he, Arthur, did not care this much about a servant's well-being.

“Worried? Of course I'm not worried, he's just my servant.” Gwen's knowing smile puzzled him slightly as she left.

*

Merlin's eyelids drooped as he tried, yet again, to break the ropes binding his wrists. It was no use, they were clearly enchanted in some way and he was getting more worn out by the minute. Morgause had visited his decrepit cell 3 times in total, each occasion bring a fresh wave of pain through spells woven with wicked words that ripped through his very being like the claws of a great beast. Each visit was followed by more attempts for escape, with Merlin using every spell in his repertoire until he was exhausted and struggling to stay awake. His spirits had dropped and hopelessness took hold, it took everything not to break down. His great destiny would be washed away in a cold room in Cenred's dungeon. The greatest sorcerer in the world. He felt his eyes well up as he whispered to himself.

“I'm sorry Arthur. I'm so sorry, I've failed you.” Footsteps sounded outside the door before it was flung open with a harsh bang that shattered Merlin's silent despair. Instead, he became determined to withstand anything that could possibly happen. Morgause entered the room, her dress trailing behind and studied her plaything.

“So Merlin, maybe you can tell me something. Why is it that a prince would abandon his knights to save an unconscious servant? Arthur is a man of honour; he lives for the glory of battle. Can you clear this up for me?” He stared at her for a long while until she continued to question him.

“Clearly your relationship is worth far more than that between a servant and his master. I dare say even more than that between friends.” What Morgause was implying drew a spluttered reply.

“Friends protect each other Morgause; I wouldn't expect you to understand that.” She had clearly sensed the venom in his words as her dark brown eyes narrowed in intense dislike. She continued her assault.

“Of course, it is not just this isolated incident. My sources from inside Camelot suggest that you and Arthur are closer than you would like to think.”

“Who would your sources be? Morgana?” She turned towards the door so quickly it startled him. As she left, she called back to him with a smirk.

“You will admit your love for Arthur, even if I have to keep you here for months. If you won't admit it now, you'll confess when he comes to save you, which we both know he will.” The door slammed shut, leaving Merlin in the darkness with the maddening silence, not even a noise to distract him from his thoughts. Love? For Arthur? He had never heard something so ridiculous in his life. He had a duty to Arthur as his servant and protector, a destiny to share with him, but love? For that arrogant, self-absorbed royal prat? He had to admit that he had grown to like Arthur more now that he had grown up but he could still be infuriatingly narrow minded, thinking he knows everything about him. It amused Merlin to think that Arthur was missing a very big point. He often thought about revealing it to him one day just to see his face, but of course the risk of execution would heavily outweigh the satisfaction. With that, his heart sank. Every laugh that they shared or times that they saved each other’s lives or when Arthur would punch Merlin in an attempt to cheer him up would all mean nothing, he would be executed all the same. With that, he tucked his knees under his chin and closed his eyes to embrace the comfort of the darkness.

*

“It's nightfall and still no word. He's not in the tavern, that's for sure, in fact they didn't seem to know who he was which is odd considering the amount of time he spends there and he's not in the lower town or the citadel. I can't take the knights so I'll have to go alone. I shall consult my father and inform him that I will be leaving to kill some form of dangerous creature. No, he will wonder why I am not taking the knights. This will require planning; I could just leave at first light.” Arthur wandered around his chambers, muttering to himself as he packed his essentials into a leather bag and slung it around his shoulders. Gwen watched his display for a while and repeated his name quietly until he paused to look for some misplaced item and she seized her chance.

“Arthur!” He looked up at her, mildly shocked. “My lord.” she hastened to add. When he watched expectantly, she continued. “You will not be going alone because I will be accompanying you.” Guinevere feared for a moment that Arthur's eyebrows would retreat permanently into his hairline or that he would choke to death on his own surprise. It took him while to recover himself enough to reply.

“Listen, Guinevere, I know that Merlin is your friend but you can't come with me. If he has been abducted, by bandits or worse, it will be too dangerous for someone of your..err... stature.” He instantly stopped speaking when he saw her earnest brown eyes narrow in clear dissent.

“I think you're forgetting something, my lord, Merlin saved my life before. He is my friend and I would be just as hurt if anything were to happen to him. I shall see you tomorrow at first light.” Guinevere ducked her head and folded her knees in a respectful curtsey and made to leave but Arthur caught her arm..

“I know you're worried and that this means a lot to you but you have to understand that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to you. Promise me Gwen that if anything happens, you'll run away and keep yourself safe.”  His eyes swam with a sincere sadness and she couldn't help but give in. She leaned in to meet his lips with her own, brushing them only slightly and threaded her soft fingers through his strong ones.

“I promise.” She whispered and left Arthur standing alone to contemplate the quest that was facing him.

*

“My lady, I am afraid that I won't be coming into work tomorrow.” Morgana's face suddenly filled with concern as she appraised Gwen's impassive expression.

“Why ever not? Are you feeling okay?” Gwen rubbed her hands together nervously; she could never lie outright to Morgana. They had been friends since they were both young girls, she trusted her completely.

“Merlin's missing and Arthur wants to search for him. We are going to search to surrounding woods for any sign.” Morgana's response was instantaneous; she jumped up to gather her possessions.

“My lady, what..?” Gwen felt her confusion yet again; it was certainly becoming a strange sort of day.

“Do you honestly think I'm not going to come with you? I'm concerned for Merlin too and Arthur would get slaughtered without me.” Gwen stood in stunned silence. “Don't worry, I won't intrude on anything you and Arthur had planned”

“I...I don't know what you mean.” Gwen stammered but Morgana spoke over her.

“I was only kidding Gwen, you can leave.” Breathing a sigh of relief, she curtseyed and left.

*

After ensuring that her maid had vacated her chambers, Morgana stood over a dish of water by her bedside and with her magic she commanded it.

“Diegol cnytte, gewitte me yst, aliese hine, to Morgause.” The water shimmered and bubbled to form the image of her half-sister, peering out of the water, awaiting the news that Morgana would bring.

“Sister, Arthur rides to you at first light to rescue his beloved Merlin.” Morgause's face lit up with sinister happiness, the corners of her mouth turned upwards into a faint smile.

“Just as we expected, you must lay the bait to lead him straight to us!” Morgana leaned into the dish and spoke more quietly.

“The serving girl shall be accompanying him. I fear she may divert him from his true path, his eyes are clouded will false love.”

“Then you shall see that she does not. Of course, there is much danger present when a task such as this is undertaken; there is a high risk to her health I fear.” Morgana smiled wickedly and turned away.

*


	2. Chapter 2

*  
Arthur tightened the girth on his horse in the glaring sun. He repeatedly checked the supplies in his leather bag but he knew that they could never be truly prepared, not when the destination or even duration of their journey was unknown. The temptation to consult his father was unbearable; he needed to reassure him, to give him some indication that he had planned the journey and that he hadn't been kidnapped or he may well bring his father's rage down on the entire kingdom. On the other hand, he hadn't forgotten the poisoned chalice, when Uther forbade Arthur from saving Merlin's life, even going as far as locking his own son in the dungeons and attempting to destroy Merlin's only means of survival. If it hadn't been for Gwen's quick thinking...no, Arthur could not even bear to think of it. Why? Arthur pondered to himself. Why couldn't he bear the death of a simple servant when many other good men had died in his presence? His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Gwen and, more surprisingly, Morgana at the courtyard.  
“I hope you've saddled a third horse, Arthur.” He covered his befuddlement quickly and instead speared Gwen with an inquisitive look.  
“Morgana cares about Merlin just as much as us Arthur; it felt right to tell her.”  
“I imagined that you wouldn't have told Uther yet so I took the liberty of informing him that we are going on a pilgrimage to my father's grave as Gwen's recent disappearance reminded me what it was like to lose someone so dear to me. He bought it instantly. ” Morgana's smug expression at Arthur's bemusement was unbearable so he hurried off to saddle a third horse.  
*  
Merlin's chin scrapes along the cold floor as he tried to drag himself towards the vague direction of the door, only known to him through each of Morgause's brief but excruciating visits. His hands were still tied, the enchantment was as strong as ever and he was out of ideas. Only a determination to escape kept him slowly and tediously edging his way towards the door. The door was flung open with a clang and light flooded the small room, blinding Merlin momentarily as his eyes adjusted to the rapid change in light intensity. He felt a sharp, tugging pain in his head as he was pulled upwards by his hair, a few strands parted connection with his scalp. Cenred sneered at his grunt of pain, his greasy hair brushing Merlin's face as it was brought uncomfortably close. He threw Merlin to the ground and Merlin heard the metallic sound of a sword being drawn from its sheath. It was a sound he had heard all too often, however it was mostly a comforting sound he associated with Arthur. Now it brought nothing but the anticipation of pain.  
“I haven't had a chance to get acquainted with you yet, I couldn't let Morgause have all the fun now could I?” He pulled Merlin up and shoved him roughly against the wall, pressing his blade against Merlin's throat. His breath was warm and putrid, his yellowed grin inches from Merlin's face. Merlin could feel the cold steel, painfully pressing further and further into his throat with each swallow but not quite penetrating the skin. He had kept up silent resistance for hours, determined to stare his torturer down with every new lick of pain, now was the time to feign powerlessness and innocence. His gaolers would revel in his pain no doubt but they may believe that he truly knows nothing, that he was just a stupid serving boy.  
“What do you want from me?!” His shout was almost a gasp as the metal withdrew and hard knuckles made contact with his cheekbone. Lying face down on the stone floor once again, his cheek throbbing painfully, he clenched his jaw and waited for the answer. Coarse hair tickled his ear as Cenred crouched next to him.  
“Arthur.” Cenred crooned gleefully. “We want Arthur from you.”  
*  
“We've been searching these woods for hours Arthur, there's no sign of him.” Arthur could feel the lethargy taking hold, the sky was beginning to darken and after riding for hours he was considerably saddle-sore. Yet, he dismissed Gwen's plea and waved his arm to continue the search.  
“He must be somewhere Gwen! There must be footprints or a note or something!” His voice cracked at the end of his sentence, the others must be sensing his desperation as Morgana rode up beside him.  
“She's right Arthur, we're all tired and we need rest. You can't help Merlin if you're falling asleep in your saddle. There's a town just west of here, we could rest at the inn.” He attempted to argue but a yawn cut off his protests, his own body was betraying him. She has a point, if Merlin was in a grave situation, he would not be able to raise a finger in his defence. He had to trust in the fact that Merlin was not in so dire a situation that one night's rest would endanger his life. The moment they threw open the tavern's doors, he knew they had made the right decision. The warm, sweet-smelling air graced his face with a loving caress, joyous music and an incoherent happy babble greeted his ears and he sighed with relief as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Morgana spoke with the landlord to secure the rooms as Arthur took some time to absorb the atmosphere and rest his troubled mind. A rough hand clapped him on the shoulder and he turned to see the most cheerful face he had seen in a long time, possibly due to the flagon of mead currently spilling from his hand.  
“Gwaine!” Gwaine's lopsided grin cheered him considerably, if nothing else he could be relied on for mindless joyful chatter.  
“Fancy seeing you here, your highness. This is a surprise.” He inclined his head in a clumsy mock bow, almost spilling his entire flagon.  
“I wish I could say the same. You could never be found far from a tavern.”  
“Why would I go anywhere else? There's no mead there, the food is bad too. So what brings the royal prince out of his grand castle?” Arthur opened his mouth to answer but Gwaine glanced over his shoulder, alerting him to the fact that Gwen and Morgana had just joined them. Within an instant, Gwaine was on his shaky feet and bowing to the both. “Forgive me, your most esteemed ladies of the court but this tavern is no place for beautiful princesses such as yourselves.”  
“Gwaine...” Arthur spoke in a warning tone but it was not needed, Gwaine seemed preoccupied in searching for another person.  
“Where's Merlin? You two never leave each other's line of sight. Has he left you for a more beauteous master?” Arthur knew he meant well but it was hard to be happy in a time like this so he couldn't even force a laugh. Gwaine's face fell upon seeing his serious expression.  
“Merlin's missing. We're searching the outlying towns and woods for anyone who might know where he is.” Gwaine looked from once face to another before placing his flagon on the table and leaning in.  
“If Merlin's missing then count me in, I gave him hell in Camelot.” Arthur had to keep himself from groaning, as much as he admired Gwaine as a warrior and as a friend, his solo journey was becoming a little crowded. Though he had to admit, Gwaine was handy in a fight and it would be useful to have another sword.  
“Fine, we rest here tonight and ride at dawn. I suggest you sober up.” He made towards the damp wooden staircase. He was tired and needed rest if they were to have any chance of finding Merlin.  
“I'm working on it.” Gwaine called back.  
*  
“I'll ask you again servant.” Morgause circled Merlin like a vulture, waiting for its prey to die, only pausing to carve another cut into his flesh. Merlin's arms were tied above this head, pulling him upright just enough so that his feet dangled uselessly, barely touching the floor. He could feel the blood leaving his arms, they were becoming unbearably numb and he feared that they may detach. However, the lack of feeling in his arms were the least of his worries; with a flash of golden light across Morgause's eyes, another cut opened to produce a fresh wave of pain along with a flow of blood. His eyelids were already sticky from the gash on his brow that was beginning to heal. Evidently, Morgause found this unacceptable as, with a few more muttered words, the clot ripped open. Blinking rapidly to keep blood from welling in his eye, Merlin glared at his torturer as he knew nothing irked her more. She seized his collar and pulled him towards her, struggling to keep her voice calm.  
“How is it that a simply serving boy of no obvious talents manages to meddle repeatedly in matters that are none of his concern?” Each word brimmed with frustration, threatening to overflow and release unbridled fury. Merlin had to admire the way she kept her cold composure, especially as the deep agonising wound on his leg reminded him that Cenred didn't. Once again, Merlin mustered all of his strength to look her in the eye and raise the corners of his mouth into a weak but gloating smile. They kept up this staring exchange for a few moments, each daring the other to look away, before Merlin began to experience a burning sensation. Flames were licking at his body, the heat intensifying by the second and growing from a mild burn to a searing fire burning through every inch of his being. He needed to extinguish the flames but there were none, they were inside him. He struggled and writhed desperately but it was no use, it was getting worse as though his very soul was being consumed. He could feel a scream building in his throat, demanding that he release it into the air but he couldn't give Morgause that satisfaction, he had to repress it. The pain was getting worse, how could it possibly be getting worse? His whole being was suddenly screaming, overwhelmed by the agony, every muscle, every bone, every nerve; everything was calling for help.  
*  
Arthur sat bolt upright, his brow covered with sweat. He clutched his throbbing head in an effort to subdue the pain, to no avail. The scream that had awoken him was so agonising, so distraught, that it filled his mind with dread. His brain must be punishing him for sleeping whilst his friend suffered the unknown. Though it had seemed so real. He knew it was Merlin's voice, though it was twisted and warped almost beyond recognition to produce the most terrible sound. They needed to get moving, every second they wasted could cost Merlin his life. He dressed hurriedly and exited his room.  
*  
Guinevere was greeted by the bright glare of sunlight as she left the comfort and cheer of the tavern to find her horse already packed and saddled. Arthur was already up, of course, smiling weakly at her from behind his own steed as he adjusted the girth. She could tell that his mind was greatly troubled, even more so than it was on the previous day.  
“We'll find him Arthur, you have my word.” Arthur didn't respond, his face remained scrunched as though it was pained. “Arthur what happened?” He shrugged off her concern simply.  
“Just a headache, it's nothing Gwen.” She wasn't convinced and continued to watch him carefully as Morgana and, eventually, Gwaine joined them. The journey was taking its toll on Arthur, though he hid it well, she could tell he was getting more desperate. They needed to find Merlin quickly.  
*  
They combed the woods further, analysing ever cracked twig and every disturbed plant to find some trace of him but there was simply no sign. Morgana needed to do something, Arthur had to go into Cenred's land or the plan would never work. She seized her opportunity when the others were studying some old footprints. She focused on the spot in front of her with all her might and projected her will from her mind to the Earth. When she opened her eyes, a blue tattered scarf lay before her and a trail of prints stretched to the West.  
“Here! I think this is it!” The others hurried to her at once and she could see the relief and excitement in Arthur's eyes as he noticed the scarf and its accompanying prints.  
“It looks like these stretch West for quite a way, what's West of here?” Gwen asked. Arthur's face suddenly fell, his jaw set into an expression of anger. He plucked the scarf from the ground and began to follow the trail.  
“Cenred's kingdom.” was his reply.  
*  
They followed the prints for a while and they seemed to lead constantly in a straight line. They clearly showed two horses but there was no guarantee that they would lead to Merlin. Arthur kept glancing at the tattered scarf he held in his fist, something wasn't quite right about it but he couldn't figure out what. Guinevere rode beside him, warming him with a smile every time he turned his head to look at her. He resisted the temptation to stare at her for the whole journey and forced himself to keep his eyes fixed on the trail but the silence was unbearable; even Gwaine was keeping his thoughts, if he had any, to himself. He normally longed for silence on journeys such as these, what had changed? It struck him suddenly and sadly: Merlin. Usually, Merlin entertained him with cheerful conversation or complained for hours on end. Surely he couldn't be missing that? It seemed that he was, exceedingly so. It was almost a relief when an arrow sailed past his head, missing it by inches.

“Ambush!” He heard Gwaine shout just as they found themselves surrounded by men bearing the tree crest of Cenred, brandishing swords and maces. Arthur sprang from his horse immediately, drawing his sword, and dispatched the nearest soldier with one clean stroke. No sooner had he died then another appeared before him, swinging a mace over his head. Arthur leaned back instinctively, letting it swing past his nose, before kicking the soldier's left knee. He didn't need to hear the crack, he felt it give beneath his boot, and the soldier toppled sideways, letting Arthur plunge his sword into his stomach. One quick twist and his life ended. A gleeful shout sounded over the clearing, probably Gwaine enjoying himself more than he should, distracts another for a second; enough for Arthur to deliver a death blow. He heard the familiar sound of a sword being withdrawn from a body and turned to see a soldier fall at the feet of Guinevere, her beautiful face contorted with a mixture of anger, fear and determination. She flashed him a quick smile before raising her sword to block the attack of yet another soldier. They were everywhere, no sooner had Arthur dispatched one then another would take his place, standing on his fallen comrade's corpse to take his chance to kill the prince. Arthur pulled Guinevere close to him and he felt Gwaine stand behind them, assuming a triangular formation, to kill the remaining soldiers. They were surrounded completely, each of them would have to kill around 9 soldiers single handedly and there was no sign of Morgana. Keeping Guinevere close behind him, Arthur charged forwards.  
*  
They were still standing, cutting Cenred's men down like they were nothing. Even Gwen was killing them, it was a disaster. Morgana would have to intercede if the plan would have a chance of succeeding. Removing Gwen from the equation was her priority. She noticed an axe lying discarded amongst the soldiers and focused on it, muttering the incantation.  
“Swilte, Guinevere!” It sailed towards its destination lethally and Morgana watched with sinister contempt, waiting for it to hit her target.  
*  
Guinevere turned, tugging her weapon from the chest of a soldier, and she could see the axe. In that split-second, everything seemed to freeze. She knew that she had to duck, to avoid it, to save herself but her mind was working quicker than her body. It was going to hit her and there was nothing she could do. There was pressure on her arm and she fell to the forest floor, tasting the gritty soil. Instinctively, she rolled to the side and jumped to her feet, the battle was still raging and she couldn't help them lying on the forest floor. There were 4 men left, one locked in a deadly battle with Arthur, two facing Gwaine and one preparing to stab him in the back. She ran towards him but stumbled over a wooden object on the forest floor. The soldier heard movement behind him and turned just to see an axe swing towards his face.  
*  
The last soldier fell with a cry at Arthur's hand and it was over, silence finally fell over the clearing. Arthur, Gwen and Gwaine stared at each other for a moment before dissolving into relieved laughter, letting them release any remaining adrenaline or fear. It was only after the air had settled that Morgana re-joined them and Arthur took the time to wonder about her absence.  
“Morgana, where were you? I didn't see you at all during the ambush.”  
“What are you talking about? I was there the whole time. I took one out that nearly killed you. Another reason you owe me your life.” His suspicion vanished instantly when he saw her evident confusion.  
“I must have been mistaken. That was an ambush, they knew we were coming. This means that the trail is fake. They're just leading us on. I knew it.” He pulled the scarf from his pocket. “This isn't Merlin's, his is lighter than this.” His company gazed at him in shock and he suddenly became self-conscious. “What?”  
“How do you know that?” Arthur looked at the scarf in his hand.  
“When he wears the same stupid thing every day for work, it's hard not to know that.”  
“This is the only lead we have Arthur, we can't abandon it. The ambush is over but Merlin could still be here somewhere.” Arthur inwardly thanked Morgana for diverting Gwaine's attention from him and they mounted the horses to continue their search.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun continued to shine but was obscured by the huge looming shape on the horizon. The rescue party stood in the colossal shadow of the great stone castle with its surely impenetrable defences: unscalable, patrolled walls; huge watchtowers and a giant metal portcullis. They all stood in silent awe at the sheer scale of Cenred's castle and Arthur was the first to break the silence, determined despite the odds.  
“Any ideas on how to get inside?” His tone was peppered with faint attempts at humour, but he could feel his own desperation seeping through the cracks, surely making itself apparent to everyone present. Gwaine rubbed his hands together enthusiastically.  
“Well, who's up for a little climbing?” Arthur felt no need to answer him and instead continued appraising the castle looking for a weakness, any weakness. The seconds seemed to tick by at accelerated speed, every second wasted could mean the end of Merlin. Morgana, to his relief, eventually brings him out of panic with the best idea he'd heard all day.  
“Every castle has to have some form of waste disposal, somewhere to empty bathwater. You see that river? I'll bet there's an entrance somewhere around it.” Arthur could hardly conceal his delight and bemusement and Morgana's quick thinking, bringing her was a wonderful idea of Gwen's he thought to himself. They made their way to the rocky outcrop overlooking the lazy river winding serenely through the muddy banks. Arthur knew that the river's safe appearance was deceiving, the current underneath would flow faster, ready to drag unwary travellers into its depths and throw them onto the nearest rocks. The bank they currently stood on was very narrow; one wrong step could send him into the furious river. He took one step forward and his boot sank slightly into the mud. After extracting it with great difficulty, he took care to tread more carefully but the journey was slow. They eventually reached a rusted metal gate, embedded in a cliff face underneath the castle. A small quantity of water flows from the tunnel's depths to join the racing river. Discarded bathwater most likely, or possibly water from laundry or crafting. Arthur really didn't want to think what else. Right now, they needed to get inside.  
“Why isn't it guarded?” Gwen asked with evident confusion in her voice. “I'm no expert in enemy castles but surely such an obvious entrance would have guards posted?” This had occurred to Arthur moments previously, though he did not want to tell the group his conclusion so he remained silent and worked at picking the lock on the gate. It swung open slowly with a resounding squeak that echoed down the long tunnel.  
“If they didn't already know we're here, they do now.” Gwaine spoke loudly; evidently secrecy was not his strong point.  
*  
Gwen silently thanked the heavens that she had worn durable boots, whatever the water held would not be desirable to have touching her feet. The group walked in silence, the only sound was the occasional quiet splash of water or a footstep. She glanced across at Arthur occasionally, his mouth was always pressed into a hard line, and his eyes fixed on the path ahead. This venture was hurting him, she could see that clearly. Merlin was a dear friend to him, one of the only people he had complete trust in. If Arthur lost him, she couldn't even begin to imagine how much it would hurt him. Though Arthur did save her life earlier, she needed to thank him for it.  
“I never got the chance earlier Arthur so I'll say it now, thank you.” He turned towards her, blue eyes glistening slightly like dew drops on forget-me-not flowers. His brow furrowed slightly.  
“Thank you for what?” Her smile faded slightly.  
“For earlier when Cenred's men attacked, pulling me away from the axe, saving my life!” Complete befuddlement and concern took over Arthur's features.  
“An axe? Guinevere, what happened?” He placed a hand on her arm, crinkling the coarse grey fabric of her tunic. She shook her head to clear his concern and stepped away from him.  
“It's nothing, really. Someone pulled me away from an axe, that's all.” Arthur stepped towards her but there was no more time, they had reached the end of the tunnel.  
*  
Morgana led the way, Arthur close behind her. They had split up to search for Merlin quickly and Arthur trusted Gwaine to keep Gwen safe. They passed through multiple doors that were clearly meant to be high security but still met no guards, there must be some form of ambush waiting and Arthur knew it. He also knew that they were getting close as they were passing cells, cells that should be guarded. The fast paced footsteps begin to slow as they approach a single, solitary door at the end of the narrow stone corridor. This was it, he could feel it. He was going to see Merlin again and this time, he would make sure that he never left his line of sight again. He readied his sword and saw Morgana do the same from the corner of his eye. With a deep breath, he pushed the door open.  
*  
Merlin awoke with a start. The resounding clang rang through his ears and he tucked his head onto his chest in an effort to escape the pain. Every joint, every muscle, every inch of skin ached and stung with every slight movement. He opened his eyes to peer at the door, expecting Morgause's rigid form, steel eyes cold and unemotional, ready to bring more agony. Maybe this time she'll bring death. He should be disturbed by how relieved he would be at the latter option but he was just too tired. Instead he saw two hazy figures, one clearly in armour from the way the little light in the room shone. Cenred possibly but the hair was light and sand coloured instead of dark. Sand coloured?  
“Arthur!” He tried to shout but his voice was hoarse, his throat burned and a small amount of blood trickled through his lips as he coughed. He clawed at the floor. His nails were broken but he didn't care, his skin blossomed into dark patches that ached with movement but he didn't care and he knew that it could be a pain hallucination but he didn't care! All that mattered was reaching that condescending royal idiot and never leaving him again. Arthur's distorted figure reached towards him just as a blaze of light and heat sprung up, inches from his face.  
*  
A blazing inferno had appeared, perfectly separating him, Arthur, from Merlin. He turned frantically to find its source and saw Morgana, also imprisoned by the inferno, standing to his left and Morgause towering over Merlin's form. Her figure was barely visible through the intense light and smoke from the fire and Arthur flung his arm over his face to block the harmful fumes though his throat was already beginning to burn.  
“Morgause!” His shout rang clear thankfully though he was fighting the urge to cough and splutter. She remained calm amongst the chaos of her conjuring, smiling at him through the flickering flames.  
“I knew you would come Arthur, anything for your pitiful servant I see. We have a little time to spare, although I fear he doesn't.” She nodded towards Merlin who was clearly shouting something that was inaudible. He never gave her the courtesy of sparing her a glance; his eyes remained locked on Merlin's form.  
“If he dies, I swear on my father's life that you will follow.”   
“Someone needs to calm down a little I fear. Now is not the time for rash actions Arthur Pendragon. Not if you want to keep him alive.”   
“If you want to kill me just do it but keep him alive, my servant can do you no harm.” Merlin wasn't moving, he had to be alive, he just had to.  
“How very touching, that you rushed to his rescue. You defy your father's wishes for a servant!” Arthur could feel the blood boiling in his veins.  
“When I rule Camelot, every man will be respected regardless of rank! Merlin has proved himself to be a valuable ally and a trusted friend and I would lay down my life for him.”  
*  
Merlin could hear Arthur's words but he knew they would not protect him for long, he had to distract Morgause. He focused on the stone ceiling above Morgause's head with all his remaining strength and spoke quietly.  
“Ic ábíetee þæt stánhol.” The ceiling began to crumble and shake, dust and debris began to rain down and within seconds it was caving in. Merlin smiled at his success before fatigue overcame him and his head hit the hard cold floor.  
*  
The flames died down in an instant as debris began to fall all around. Arthur sprinted towards Merlin and he felt someone yank him back. Morgause's stone grey eyes fixed upon him for a moment before he pushed her away and finally felt Merlin's arm beneath his palm. He pulled his unconscious friend up and ran. He knew that with Merlin like this, he couldn't raise a sword in his defence so his only option was to run as fast as he could. He heard a second set of footsteps and the occasional flicker of black hair covered in dust alerted him to the fact that Morgana had joined him. She would have to handle any guards they came across. Merlin's head lolled back and jolted with the movement of running and Arthur could not help but panic, what if he was too late?  
*  
“So...you and Arthur?” Gwaine smirks at Gwen as they walk, checking down each stone corridor for any resemblance to a dungeon or cell. “Or is it Arthur and Merlin?” Gwen spears him with a look of indignation. Gwaine chuckled, clearly delighting in his teasing. “I really don't know what Merlin sees in him personally. He has his uses I suppose, handy with a sword.” He leans on the wall with an easy grin, his long hair falling over his face. “Although you're pretty handy with an axe I see.” Gwen stopped short and turned to look at his cheerful face.  
“Was it you?” He just winked and tapped his nose.  
“I have no idea what you're talking about, princess.” She began to reply but she heard a shout, Arthur's shout' and turned to see him sprinted towards them. He was holding an unconscious Merlin.  
*  
A camp fire crackles soothingly, exuding warmth and occasionally spitting out the odd spark here and there. Merlin kept shuffling closer and closer to it as Arthur watched him. The night was cold and he would not begrudge Merlin the warmth he so desperately needed. All of Arthur's blankets and spare clothes were already bundled around him and he wasn't sure what else he could do for him. He couldn't help but catalogue each of Merlin's injuries but there were so many of them. Both of his eyes were blackened, there was a clear gash above his left eye and so many little cuts covering his face which was sallow and gaunt. Arthur took care to remember the positioning of each injury so he could recreate it on Cenred and Morgause the next time he got the chance. He was indebted to whatever force made the ceiling cave in as he had Merlin back and no force on Earth could rip him away again.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin's chest rose and fell heavily whilst his eyelids made no movement, not even a twitch or a flutter. Why couldn't he just wake up? Arthur slammed his fist on the ground in frustration. It was unbelievable, he thought, that despite everything he was angry at merlin. For getting himself abducted in the first place, for not escaping himself and for not waking up! He rested his chin on his hands and blinked away a few tears. He knew why he was angry of course; it was better than the hopeless desperation or the heart crushing sadness of accepting Merlin's current condition. They had stayed in the same position for days out of fear of worsening his already dire circumstances but to no effect. He had made no sound or movement other than breathing and Arthur watched this constantly, fearing that the only sign of his life might fade. Arthur could hear the group whispering but he no longer cared; if he took his eyes off that steady movement for one second, it may stop and Merlin would slip away without so much as a goodbye. He wanted to take hold of Merlin's shoulders and shout so loudly that he would awaken and he could see that lifeless face change into the animated, alive person he knew so well. At this moment, he would have given all the lands in the kingdom to see those eyes, those blue chalcedony eyes, to light up with the spark of life; to appraise him like they always did with a flicker of mystery, as if Merlin knew more than he did. It always frustrated him so much before but now he longed for that glance. For any sign that he would come back to him.  
*  
“We need to do something Morgana, we can't just leave him here and every time I suggest we need to move he... looks at me.” Gwen glanced down at the uncomfortable memory. Arthur moved almost as much as Merlin; his body stiff from where he sat, his lips pressed in a hard line and his eyes never leaving his servant. His hand rested on the hilt of his blade, twitching occasionally whenever someone came close. Frankly, it scared Gwen to death. The three of them sat around a crackling campfire whilst a blanket of darkness slowly fell around them. It marked the fourth nightfall in this spot and they needed to get Merlin to Gaius. Recently, the only way she could convince Arthur to listen to her was through Merlin. His welfare was the only thing of importance to him right now. All other things were hindrances, even her. She saw Gwaine's face flicker with a hint of concern, evidently her face betrayed all that was locked up inside. She forced her mouth to smile but she knew it was broken, recent events had only confirmed what she already suspected about Merlin and Arthur.  
“Tomorrow, Gwen. We'll move him, I promise.” Gwen nodded at Gwaine and excused herself to her sleeping spot under a tree with a particularly spongy trunk. It faced away from the camp, away from Merlin and away from Arthur. Therefore it was perfect.  
*  
A soft hand touched his upper arm and Arthur tensed up, turning towards Gwen who shrank away slightly. He saw her distress and relaxed, making an effort not to hurt her in any way.  
“What is it Gwen?” He could hear his own voice, hostile and cracked, but he couldn't change it.  
“Look at him Arthur, I know you've done little else but really look. He's getting worse. His breathing is getting shallower and you can see the sweat on his forehead. If we don't get him to Gaius soon-”  
“What, Gwen? He'll die? You think I don't know that?” Arthur was on his feet; releasing the emotion he had felt for a long time. “I can't do it though, I can't touch him. You want me to look at him? I see a broken man who could die from the shock of any single touch because every touch hits an injury.” He moved around Merlin. “His right knee is broken, shattered more like. His entire body is covered in cuts or bruises and where there are none; his skin is white as a ghost. His forehead is burning up, getting hotter by the minute and there's nothing I can do about it.” He fell to the floor again, voice growing softer. The anger was disappearing and hopelessness was gripping him with all its might. It took everything to keep it together. “Tomorrow.” His voice was barely a whisper. “We'll head to Camelot at first light.” The rustle of leaves grew more distant as Gwen left him. A bead of sweat fell from the end of one of Merlin's fain curls and Arthur took hold of the hem of his shirt. The fabric gave way and he placed the torn fragment on Merlin's head. The impulse to tend to his fever was overwhelming but something held him back. What, he thought, was it? Was he really afraid to touch Merlin's skin? He mopped his brow with the rag tentatively but impulse took over and he reached across with one hand to take Merlin's limp one. He sat like this for a few moments, squeezing Merlin's hand to generate some form of response but nothing happened. Still, he didn't let go. The contact was welcome; something else that he could convince himself would somehow help Merlin. So he kept holding on, wishing that Merlin would return the favour.  
*  
Morgana adjusted the girth on her horse absent minded, occasionally stealing a glance at the unhappy couple. Though which one, she thought, she could take her pick. Gwen was distraught and in no mood to talk to Arthur whilst he brooded over Merlin. It pleased Morgana that she may not have to kill Gwen, she felt no affection of course but the girl hadn't done anything to harm her. Seeing her like this stirred something within Morgana, something oddly like sympathy. The man she so desperately loved was ignoring her, eyes only for the unconscious man he was currently hauling onto his horse. This was not how the plan was supposed to play out, though it seemed to be running smoothly judging by the lingering hold Arthur had on Merlin. Maybe torturing Merlin into unconsciousness hadn't been such a bad idea after all. She needed to delay the journey further to let Arthur fully establish his feelings before they reached Camelot. Or she could help him out a little.  
*  
Merlin could feel a burning heat on his fingers, warmth he so desperately needed. He tried to flex them, to take hold of the heat source but his own body was betraying him. All he could see was the blending colours of sun on his eyelids. Straining to open them had no effect; his entire body felt disconnected from his mind and would not react to anything. Incoherent voices babbled relentlessly but he couldn't make anything out, he couldn't make them aware of his presence and he couldn't even scream. He was trapped. One voice stood out, a deep soothing one that stirred something in his memory but sounded different somehow. He struggled to make it out, willing his hand to grip whatever it held. Light flooded his senses, stinging his unadjusted eyes as his eyelids fluttered and that one voice was next to him all of a sudden and it was calling his name.  
*  
“Merlin!” Arthur stayed fixed on his servant's eyes. Was his mind playing tricks on him? He could have sworn Merlin's eyelids had opened, just for a second, long enough to see the sun reflecting off them. The golden light that had caught his eye had also taken his breath away as it was the brightest gold he had ever seen. Nothing could compare to it; not the golden coins in the treasury, not the grand crown that sat atop his father's head or even the purest gold ingot he had glimpsed just once in the tomb of Cornelius Sigan. It was the gold that alchemists would aspire to create, all produced from the sunlight hitting Merlin's eyes. It was also the most beautiful and important thing to Arthur at this moment. Hope flooded through him, filling up every fibre of his body as he called Merlin's name again and took both of his hands in his own, squeezing them tightly, desperately. Then, faintly but definitely, Merlin squeezed them back.  
*  
Arthur's eyes were boring into his own but Merlin would not look away. He was still weak and groggy, with almost no memory of recent events but he didn't care. Even the agonising pain radiating from his knee was second to Arthur. He held Arthur's gaze for as long as possible but the light of the sun was forcing his eyelids closed. He was blinking rapidly, desperate to hold his gaze but his eyes betrayed him and snapped shut.  
“Shade, I need shade.” The words formed perfectly in his head but caught in his throat, making no sound whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried, how loud he screamed, no sound escaped his lips. Scrabbling at the front of Arthur's shirt was his only option and he winced when he felt his nails pierce flesh but he had to make Arthur understand him. Strong, sturdy hands restrained his own and Arthur spoke to him more softly  
“Merlin, can you hear me? You're safe now, you have my word.” Merlin struggled to open his eyes but he had to tell Arthur somehow.  
“Arthur, we need to get him into darkness. He spent so long in that cell that he won't be used to the light.” At once, some kind of fabric covered his face. For that, he was incredibly grateful as he could open his eyes again. The light filtered through small holes in the material but it was a huge improvement and he could feel his eyes slowly adjust. His whole body ached and stung but at least he was out of that wretched cell. Which begged the question, why was he there in the first place? Cenred had an entire army at his disposal, he could have easily killed Arthur once he was there but he didn't. He needed to tell Arthur that he was in danger but words continued to fail him and the frustration was unbearable. When they got back to Camelot, he could find a spell to end it but until then he was next to useless. Arthur was still holding his hands, the sensation was very strange, and he could feel his breath on his face. That was even stranger.  
*  
“Please, Merlin, talk to me. I'm desperate out here.” Talking to a brown rectangle of cloth certainly felt unnatural but the relief he felt at Merlin's current state was holding him high on euphoria. However, no matter how much he talked to Merlin, there was no reply. Only the occasional frantic pressure on his fingers that was beginning to border on being painful despite Merlin's clear lack of muscle. He wouldn't remove Merlin's grasp however as he was thankful that there finally was one. Merlin removed his hand from his own and removed the cloth from his face. His pupils were still constricted but he seemed to be reacting better to the light. There was desperation in his unusually dull eyes; they still lacked his unique spark that made him... Merlin. Merlin seized the front of Arthur's jacket and drew their faces level, eyes desperately boring into Arthur's. Arthur was suddenly aware of the close proximity as his heart began to pick up speed, his pulse throbbing in his head. He tried to draw away but Merlin kept hold whilst Arthur tried to avert his eyes to no avail; they were drawn to Merlin's like their gazes were chained together. From somewhere behind them, Gwaine cleared his throat and let out a low whistle. Arthur pulled away immediately, why did they have to ruin everything? If he had come alone then he could talk to Merlin himself without others getting involved. He let out an exasperated sigh and marched off to be alone with his thoughts.  
*  
Arthur was brooding again, he had done little else for the past hours of daylight and night was slowly taking hold. Merlin's power of speech had not returned to him though Gwen had spent the journey informing him of everything he had missed, including his current condition. It appeared that she still had unanswered questions though and, try as he might, he simply could not answer. He was settled beneath another tree, his body aching from the day's ride. He had not complained for obvious reasons but he also saw the look in Arthur's eyes every time he so much as winced. They had his leg strapped up to the best of their ability so he could ride on the back of Arthur's horse, a very interesting journey to say the least. It bothered him somehow, Arthur's concern why did it bother him so much? He remembered nothing of his time in Cenred's castle, for that he was grateful.  
“We need to find out why you were there in the first place Merlin. Please, just nod if Morgause told you why.” Merlin looked Gwen straight in the eyes and shook his head slowly. She sighed but continued to quiz him. She was obviously just as concerned as he was and he was desperate to answer her questions or his own but he could neither communicate nor remember a single thing.  
“Can you remember what happened? Anything at all?”  
“Gwen!” Arthur's voice rang loud and clear. It was furious. “He's clearly traumatised! Have you no sense? Look at him!” Gwen stepped back, tears welling in her eyes. Arthur stared at her until she fled, stifling sobs. Merlin stared in surprise, had he missed something? Arthur would never speak to Gwen that way. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.  
*  
Arthur kept stealing glances towards where Merlin was sitting. What was happening to him? When he had looked into Merlin's eyes earlier he had to keep himself from...he just couldn't believe it. Of course, he couldn't deny that he admired Merlin as an ally and as a person and that he had always been very protective but he needed to be. The idiot couldn't fight a butterfly, it was only natural! His late feelings were anything but. If his father wouldn't let him marry a serving girl, there was no way that he would let him marry a serving boy. He wanted to marry Merlin? Arthur rested his head in his hands. Right now, his brain felt so messed up that he wanted to rip it out along with his stupid beating heart. The heart that beat faster whenever Merlin was near, whenever his overlarge ears lifted up as he smiled, whenever his eyelashes brushed his cheekbones when he looked down, whenever he....Arthur had to stop thinking about it and quickly.  
*  
Merlin heard the soft thunk as Arthur sat down beside him. Hunter or no, he could take lessons in grace and elegance.  
“Merlin.”  
Merlin would never tire of hearing Arthur say his name, even as much as he had today. He looked at Arthur directly, hoping that by some miracle his speech would return and he could tell Arthur everything. Everything that he had been thinking about in the day's journey about Arthur's strange behaviour towards him. For instance the close proximity, the unnecessary hand holding and the lingering glances. What worried him is that he didn't mind at all. Quite the opposite. He had been harbouring feelings towards Arthur for a while, especially now he had matured from being a narrow minded dollophead. However these feelings were detached from reality, just a mad fantasy he appreciated every once in a while. He could never have imagined that Arthur would return those feelings; anyway he cared far too much for Gwen. Arthur was off limits, he always will be. So what was happening? He had to force himself to look at Arthur sooner or later so he took a deep breath and slowly transferred his gaze upwards. Arthur's gaze was soft, earnest and (dare he say it) dreamy. The kind of gaze that made Merlin's brain completely disconnect from the rest of his body, leaving him helplessly lost.  
“I need to apologise to you for... how I've been acting over the past day. I don't know what's come over me, only that you're something to do with it.” Facial expressions were the only thing Merlin had right now and, despite his internal screaming, he resigned himself to furrowing his brow in confusion. Arthur just carried on looking into his eyes and, somehow, it spoke louder than any words could have. That one look accelerated both his heartbeat and his breathing. Neither of them had to say a single word and that suited Merlin just fine. Arthur's fingers softly trailed down his bruised cheekbone and across his aching jaw whilst never losing eye contact. Merlin caught his hand and held it loosely, finally giving in to the moment and leaning in to meet Arthur's lips in a long anticipated kiss. The first brush of lip on lip sent a spark through Merlin more powerful than any magic he had ever performed. Merlin's free hand wound itself through Arthur's sandy blond hair of its own accord; he certainly had no control over his body any more. One kiss turned into more as both men forgot any inhibitions and ravaged each other's lips eagerly. Arthur's free hand ran through Merlin's hair as he pressed him against the tree and began biting his lower lip. Merlin's thought process was blocked considerably as he tried to comprehend exactly what was happening but he no longer cared, Arthur was pushing him against a tree whilst his hand cupped his neck sending lighting from each fingertip as it sunk into his skin. The pressure was becoming painful now, Merlin was still bruised but he couldn't bring himself to pull Arthur off. Whatever change had come over Arthur was welcome to Merlin, even if he had spoken so harshly to Gwen. Wait, that wasn't like him at all. Merlin pulled Arthur away from him with every ounce of physical and mental strength he possessed. Arthur was looking at him with complete and utter devotion, a look he had only seen when Gwen was around.  
“Merlin, what are you doing? We are in love! I will shout it at the top of Camelot's tallest tower if I have to! Everyone shall know of this.” Merlin's spirits dropped like they had been thrown off that very same tower. His breaths became choked up as his throat burned and tears began to force themselves out of his eyes. His vision blurred, he scanned Arthur's body until he looked upon a small jewel, glowing softly, with a lock of dark hair wound around it.


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin’s fingers plaited two strands of leather together absent-mindedly. He kept his head down and tried to pretend that he was truly intent on plaiting those highly important strips together. Wait, where had he even got them from? His eyes hurt from keeping up a defiant glare all morning. Directed towards Gwaine often for winking at him every chance he got, directed towards Morgana for that knowing stare and directed towards Arthur for…well; he wasn't quite sure what it was directed towards Arthur for. For making Gwen, one of his dearest friends, so upset that she avoided the both of them and was currently resting by an old aspen tree on the outskirts of the clearing? Possibly; for getting himself put under some love spell that was highly inconvenient and could not be broken non-verbally? Definitely not, that wasn't the idiot’s fault; for kissing him? He would definitely have to review that one. The cloud of euphoria that had filled him with hope the moment they had made contact was gone. It had rained pain and then vanished, as such clouds often do. Unrequited feelings, he could live with; rejection too, those were bearable but not this; anything but this. The feeling of knowing that Arthur wanted him, that he could walk straight across the camp and plant a kiss on his lips as he had fantasised about for so long. That was the hardest part; it would be so easy to succumb to his desires but if he did, it would hurt him more than anything. Every action would be a lie. Leaves rustled slightly in front of him and he didn't even need to glance upwards, he knew who it would be. Arthur had an adorable gappy smile pasted across his face and Merlin both thanked him for it and cursed its appeal. Nothing was more unlike him and it made it easier to remember the love spell, however the way Arthur’s face split from ear to ear in a smile that radiated pure delight whenever Merlin so much as looked at him was making his heart ache.   
“Merlin, my love, please tell me how I have offended you.” Merlin grimaced at the address, a dagger twisting in his gut. It was becoming hard to distinguish between the physical pain of his aching body and the emotional pain of his aching soul. He would relish in telling Arthur why he was offended but he did not know himself. Plus, the lack of speech problem made it difficult. He continued to gaze at the worn leather intently and Arthur’s feet disturbed the crisp leaves further as he stumbled towards Merlin. His palm caught Arthur in the stomach, rigidly halting his progress. The muscles in Arthur’s abdomen tensed beneath the fine flax shirt as he stood for a second before backing away. Merlin’s hand fell to the floor before beginning to unravel the plaited leather for the sixth time this morning. The footsteps faded and Merlin let out a low sigh of relief, ignoring Arthur hurt but not as much as the alternative.   
“What’s going on here then? Your handsome prince seems upset m’lord.” Gwaine’s form shattered the peace perfectly by encroaching on his personal space. Of course, with no means of communication between them even in written form, the rest of the group had no idea of the love charm; pointing at it desperately seemed to have no effect as Gwaine was too busy laughing, Gwen wouldn't look at the pair of them and Morgana just shook her head slightly in exasperation. Merlin fixed Gwaine with another glare but he seemed unaffected, wonderful. “Don’t let us hold you back, I’ve been waiting for this for months. Ever since the tavern actually, you two are so blindingly obvious. I say you both owe me a beer, not sulking silence. So y’know, kiss and make up because you’re not fooling anyone.” Screaming at him would be a very good idea, as would hitting him over the head. He flexed his hand slightly and a dull ache flowed from his arm to the point of each fingertip. As he wondered whether it would be worth the pain, Gwaine sauntered off whistling happily. What he would give to be so carefree was limitless.   
*  
Arthur lifted Merlin gently onto their shared horse, taking extra care of the bound leg and examining his face intently for so much as a wince. What Gwen would give to be so loved. Instead, she kept her face passive and her form rigid, sat astride her dapple grey horse at the back of the small party. Her eyes stung, washed fresh and shining bright surely but she would shed no more tears for the liar that was Arthur Pendragon. She had always known of the connection that existed between Arthur and his greatest friend, even a blind man could see as much. However, she had also believed that Arthur’s feelings for her were true. So what was she to him? A cover up had been her first thought but Arthur had endeavoured to keep their relationship secret. It could a cover up for him, which was very possible. Arthur was a hard and stubborn man sometimes, especially when it came to what he considered to be matters better left to the female members of the court. If he could convince himself that he loved Gwen, he could simply love any residing feelings for Merlin into a little box at the back of that thick skull. Sure, it worked for him but why did he have to lie? She had long since accepted that she would see Arthur marry another who would serve as a more appropriate marital candidate but she harboured a guilty pleasure at the fact that Arthur only be doing his duty. To marry a man that he truly loved, to see his face full of adoration, it would be unbearable. It was selfish of her and she knew it but she couldn't go through life wishing that she was the recipient. Drops fell down her face though, for the first time on this journey, they did not fall from her eyes. The rain slowly soaked through her clothes to chill her skin but, despite the unpleasant feel, the landscape created by the rain was truly magnificent. The stones that littered the dark path glittered like the purest sliver, perfectly matching the glinting chainmail that covered Arthur’s back perfectly. Guinevere’s hands tightened on the damp reins and her horse tugged at them slightly in protest. She loosed her grip and whispered a small apology. Taking her anger out on the horse was unfair and taking it out on poor broken Merlin who couldn’t say a word in his own defence was also unfair. Yet she couldn't bring herself to take it out on Arthur, she had always known that he loved Merlin, deep down, but she just hoped that he could love her too. If she knew anything about the prince, he would have kept those feelings buried for a lifetime. Clearly, she knew nothing about him and that is how it would stay.   
*  
Gwaine smiled weakly as he clasped Merlin’s shoulders.   
“Look after Princess Arthur for me. I’m not dealing with either of you if the other gets hurt. Especially now, mind you.” He winked and raised his voice to call to the rest of the group “I’ll be sure to have mead on you!” The statement was met with a forced laugh that fell flat as he departed, leaving Merlin feeling strangely mournful. Of course he would see Gwaine again but when? As long as Uther lived, Gwaine could never return to Camelot. The great castle towered over the treetops, illuminated by the sunset to make it glow in an exquisite blend of pink and orange. Camelot almost looked magical, although it was possibly due to the immense relief that Merlin felt. He had whispered his blood and sweat soaked goodbyes to Gaius along with everyone else long ago in the cell. The memories were painful and fragmented; he had spent the entire uncomfortable ride trying to fit the pieces together. He could remember agony, the unsmiling face of Morgause and the twisted grin of Cenred but the rest was hazy at best and darkness at worst. He couldn’t remember the words they spoke as they burned and ripped his skin, only a sensation worse than anything he had ever encountered and, he hoped, would ever encounter again. The fragments he could remember with the most clarity happened when he was alone with his thoughts in the suffocating darkness. Hopelessness, despair and desperation had beaten any determination and rational thought into a bloody pulp, leaving him to mumble his apologies to anyone and everyone. He had thanked Gaius for taking him in, for aiding him though it could cost him his life and being like the father he had been without all his life. He had also apologised for being an arrogant clot at times and going against anything he said. Merlin probably drove him up the wall but Gaius stuck by him and for that he was truly thankful. He could thank him fully in person once they arrived, well after they had sorted his problem out first. His fingers lightly rested, clasped together, on Arthur’s abdomen and he could feel the fabric of his shirt brushing against them with the rocking of the horse. It offered no improvement on the uncomfortable tension that pressed against him, making it difficult to breathe. Arthur had insisted on the position (“After all Merlin, we can’t have you falling off the horse can we?”). He had suggested other positions too but Merlin would rather not dwell on those, this was the most acceptable that he could achieve. Still, it was hard to ignore the tingle in his fingertips. Cantering through the gates, the horses made an alarming amount of noise. Almost every citizen in the vicinity was staring at them; seeing Merlin on Arthur’s horse, his fingers comfortably around his waist. Fingers unclasping hastily, Merlin instead held Arthur’s jacket and hoped that he would not fall off. They finally arrived in the courtyard and Arthur hopped of the horse with practised grace and reached up to help Merlin down. Pushing his hands aside, Merlin jumped down with great difficulty to land on his unbroken leg. Pain shot from his ankle to his thigh as he stumbled, bracing himself for the impact and humiliation of the fall. Strong arms caught him but he pushed them away instantly, checking to see if anyone had witnessed the exchange. He kept his eyes firmly down, avoiding the piercing cerulean blue of Arthur’s which he could feel boring into his forehead.   
“Sire!” The rattle of chainmail accompanied the shout as two guards ran down the steps to greet the prince. Arthur turned towards them and Merlin took his opportunity to hobble away slightly. “The king requests your presence immediately.”   
“Of course” Arthur answered “Inform him that I will be with him shortly.” As the guards departed, Merlin grabbed the front of Arthur’s jacket and shook his head wildly. He couldn't see the king, not with the love charm! They needed Gaius, and quickly. However, getting there would be an issue. Throwing caution to the wind, Merlin tugged on Arthur’s sleeve as they made their way through the castle using Arthur as a crutch. A long branch would be really helpful but Arthur had been so focused on aiding Merlin himself over the past few days, he hadn't needed one. It was perfectly natural for an injured man to lean on a healthy one; there was no cause for concern at all. So why did every passing person inspire unease? Arthur began to walk in the direction of the council chambers but Merlin tugged his sleeve in the opposite direction, pulling him towards Gaius’s chambers. The wooden door creaked in protest as it was swung open to reveal Gaius’s form hunched over his bench, working hard as always. Merlin swelled with emotion as the smell of the awful potions and poisons assaulted his nostrils, he would never complain about that smell again for as long as he lived. This would be a relatively short time if Arthur announced his undying love for Merlin in front of his father.   
“Gaius! We need your aid immediately for my love is injured. You must concoct a potion to bring back his wondrous voice for I shall not be depraved of it any longer!” Merlin’s mouth dropped open as he glanced at the idiot standing next to him, his mouth fixed in a dreamy smile that did not match the stern voice he spoke with. Utterly absorbed by shock, he did not noticed Gaius approach until he was pulled into a warm hug that smelled earthly and slightly singed. Before he knew it, Merlin was crying tears of pure unending happiness as he saw Gaius’s wrinkled old face; one that he never imagined he would see again. Then the fleeting relief was gone from his features and he instead eyed Arthur with serious concern.   
“Merlin…do you care to explain what is wrong with the prince?” Arthur continued to grin contentedly.  
“I’m in love Gaius, nothing more and nothing less. I must tell my father immediately!” Gaius’s expression changed from one of mild concern to downright shock. The expression deepened as his eyes swept Merlin’s body, obviously seeing the way he held himself and leant on Arthur. Not to mention the bruised face and barely healing cuts.   
“Merlin…what happened to you?!” Merlin limped over to Gaius’s desk, dragging his useless leg behind him to grab a sheet of parchment and the quill lying next to it. His writing was barely legible as his wrist refused to move as required without protesting by sending out pain but he could finally communicate. He shoved the paper roughly towards Gaius, whose eyes scanned the page, widening the further down he got. Arthur was clearly growing impatient as he spoke with a hint of annoyance.   
“I, the prince of Camelot, hereby command you to heal my betrothed!” Merlin’s head snapped to look at him with an agonising reminder of his condition from his neck; betrothed? This situation was worse than he originally thought. Conflict covered Gaius’s face, with his eyes betraying humour whilst brow creased with worry.   
“I’ll…do what I can sire.”   
“Good, I am going to see my father and I expect my love to be singing sweetly again by the time I get back.” Merlin and Gaius both moved to stop him but he shook them off and strolled out.


	6. Chapter 6

Hobbling along the stone corridor on his new crutch would be familiar and comforting was Merlin not rushing to prevent Arthur from doing something incredibly stupid indeed. For the first time it was Gaius that was walking briskly ahead, growing impatient as Merlin struggled to master the use of the clunky wooden staff. It had seemed so much easier in the forest, most likely because of the adorable…idiotic prince supporting him. With the sound of raised voices growing louder with every step, Merlin wondered if going into the council chamber was such a good idea. Perhaps stumbling as fast as possible in the other direction would be more beneficial.  Their entrance was barely noticed as the King Uther and his son were in the midst of a dangerous argument. Uther was drawn tight as a bowstring, every word spoken in a low voice laced with ice and deadly intent.  Arthur was stood across from him, clearly furious.

“What does it matter if I did?! He’s a good man, he saved my damn life or have you forgotten?”

“Arthur you lied to me and deliberately risked your life to save a man of low background to whom you have no debt.” Arthur was struck speechless for a moment.

“No...No debt? Did you not hear me? He saved my life!? Have you gone deaf as well as mad?” Gasps echoed around the room and Merlin’s jaw dropped. Arthur would never be so blatantly disrespectful to his father, the charm clearly needed to be broken before Uther executed his own son which did not seem all that unlikely. Fury plastered on his face, Uther turned to his council.

“Leave us.” Those two words were lethally quiet, like the calm before a fearsome storm.  Merlin wanted to shield Arthur’s body with his own and protect him from certain death but he felt himself herded along with the rest of the crowd. “Gaius, I need you here” Uther glanced away from Arthur’s face and his murderous gaze found Merlin’s “and the manservant.” Merlin felt his insides vanish, leaving his hollow empty shell. If only he could join them. The council seemed thrilled to be departing the scene and Merlin watched them enviously, trying to avoid looking at the three key figures that were currently fixed on him. The moment the doors shut with a resounding bang, Gaius spoke.

“My lord, what do you require?” Uther’s eyes snapped to him, giving Merlin little relief.

“I want you to tell me why my son, the crowned prince of Camelot, is blushing like a maiden.”  He did have a point as now that he had noticed Merlin, Arthur was gazing dreamily at him.

“I’ll look into it sire.” Uther stalked past Arthur to the throne and settled into it, his hard eyes finding each of them in turn.  “If it had not been for Morgana, I would never have known of your foolish campaign. At least one of you remains loyal.” Of course Morgana was responsible; once they had failed to kill Arthur she must have resorted to desperate measures.  Where they desperate measures though? Someone, and Merlin would be happy to bet all of his limbs on Morgana, had planted that love charm and there had been a suspicious lack of guards prohibiting their escape. Perhaps this carnage was her doing. 

“Why would my son insist on saving you?” Uther sneered at Merlin who stared pointlessly back, hoping not to offend him somehow with his expression. 

“Merlin is unable to answer, sire. I believe it is a result of his ordeal.”

“Ordeal? Did they cut out his tongue? Answer me boy!”  Merlin just stared, keeping himself composed as the king raged.

“Leave us Gaius; take your apprentice with you. I wish to talk with my son alone.”

“I would not advise it in his current state…”

“Leave!” Uther’s shout reverberated off the stone arches of the council chamber and Merlin, glad to be excused, almost scrambled out of the chamber with one last worried look at Arthur who was swaying slightly. This whole situation was deteriorating rapidly, to think that he was kissing Arthur quite happily just a couple of days ago. His prince’s lips had been surprisingly soft, surprising tenderness showing itself where Merlin had expected none. His mind was fixated upon that moment, constantly straying back to the moment of meeting and to the look of pure adoration in Arthur’s dazzling blue eyes moments before it had happened. The slight tickle of Arthur’s unshaven face was still there, ever present like an unscratchable itch. Merlin had found his hand wandering to brush his own chin more than he would have cared to admit. Morgana could rot in a pit for the rest of her life; in fact Merlin would happily put her there. He could have lived knowing Arthur would never return his feelings but to be given such a gorgeous glimmering hope and have it smashed, that was beyond anything Merlin could cope with. His entire being ached with every thought to the all-encompassing happiness that had filled him for a brief beautiful moment.  What he wouldn’t give to relive that every day of his life and for it to never end. 

*

Gwen extinguished the candle and bade Morgana goodnight before she could leave, Morgana spoke.

“Poor Arthur, Uther was furious. I never knew just how much they cared about each other, did you?” Gwen froze, her hand clutching the door.

“No, my lady.”  Her voice cracked slightly on the last note and she prayed that Morgana hadn’t noticed.

“I knew they liked each other but I never thought they’d act on it. I guess they proved me wrong.”

“It seems that way, doesn’t it?” Gwen struggled to keep her voice passive and blinked quickly in an attempt to dry out her rapidly filling eyes. 

“Gwen, are you quite alright?”

“I’m…fine my lady. Just a little tired that’s all.”

“That’s understandable; we’ve had a rather odd day. The council certainly were surprised though were they not? You’re dismissed.” With a small curtsey, Gwen left the room. Everything seemed to move slowly and lethargic and her eyes struggled to stay open.  She nearly walked into Arthur who was strutting most likely towards Merlin’s chambers.   

“Sorry Gwen, I didn’t see you there.”

“No, you didn’t, did you? “ Gwen spat bitterly.

“I’m sorry Gwen, what was that?” Voiced Arthur absent mindedly, the pompous prat.

“Oh, nothing sire. “ She hurried off leaving a temporarily bemused Arthur in her wake.  

*

“You’ve gone through a serious trauma Merlin; I’m led to believe that your temporary loss of voice is a result of serious stress.” At least there was optimism in Gauis’ words thought Merlin. Temporary was all he could hope for. “If you drink this calming tonic twice daily it may help but I cannot prescribe something you must treat yourself.  Your own body is doing this and only you can reverse this. I doubt all the magic in the world would solve your predicament.” Merlin blinked slowly, trying desperately to swallow the lump in his throat to no avail. Wise and thoughtful old Gaius had always been his final proof but he must be wrong, there had to be some magic spell or potion that could resolve this. Once again, the old wooden door swung open protesting heavily and Arthur marched through the door, a sappy smile plastered across his irritating face.

“Ah, there you are Merlin! You must be mad if you think that I’d let you out of my sight for more than a moment!” Merlin turned towards Gaius, eyes widening, to see his expression mirrored on Gaius’s wrinkled features. Merlin found himself being pulled into a bone-crushing hug, his sore body connecting painfully with Arthur’s firm one and his walking stick clattered to the floor uselessly. Hours seemed to tick by before Arthur finally released him and pulled away, gazing dreamily into Merlin’s eyes. Merlin looked away hastily, avoiding his love struck gaze for fear of the pain it would cause.

“You are still unable to talk? Gaius I ordered you to fix him!” Gaius let out a sigh filled with exasperation.

“I am afraid I cannot sire, the only person who can help Merlin now…is you.” Merlin’s stomach lurched as he frantically stared from one face to the other in an effort to understand.

“His mind is in a state of shock; he needs somebody close to him to help his overcome it.” Merlin’s must have left his brain back at Cenred’s castle because he had not the capacity to understand any of this nonsense. _Gaius_ was close to him, they had no need for Arthur until they could reverse the spell which could only be accomplished when Merlin could speak again.

“The process requires somebody with a deep emotional connection. I can think of no better person.” Arthur’s face lit up as he beamed but Merlin simply glared at Gaius’s smug expression with all his might. Arthur rubbed his hands together enthusiastically.

“Well, what do you require?” For the first time, Gauis truly smiled earnestly.

“Simply your presence by his side at all times will suffice. All you need is to communicate and to help him recover from his shock. It will be difficult of course, with the king so suspicious but I believe that Merlin and I can rely on you.” A low growl of dissent rumbled in Merlin’s throat, the only sound he had been able to make after he and Gaius had discovered it earlier.

“I am sorry” Gaius spoke in a low voice so only Merlin could hear “but it’s the only thing that can help you now.”

*

The world swam lazily before Arthur’s eyes, hazing out everything unimportant; Gaius, the servants and even his father. The only thing he could focus on with perfect clarity was Merlin. Merlin shone pure and perfect through the mirage. He would never tire of gazing at his incredible form, staying in that moment forever until they were both old and grey. Nothing else mattered to him except reaching out to his beloved and holding him close. Unfortunately, Arthur could see that Merlin did not share his intentions which only confused him all the more. The moment they had shared under the tree had been the single most intimate and sweetest moment of his existence and he had been so sure that Merlin had returned those feelings. Something had torn them apart and there was nothing Arthur desired more, except maybe Merlin, than to take that something and grind it into dust.  The light streaming through the small dusty window lit up Merlin’s face, gracing Arthur with the joy of seeing every tiny detail. It caressed his cheekbones with the softest touch, calling attention to the inconceivable definition there and Arthur’s gaze followed its path to his lips, flushed and pressed into a worried line yet still worthy of an entire portrait gallery devoted to just them. A portrait gallery of just Merlin was a sweet thought. Arthur could spend hours in there like it was a tavern; drinking in the sweet wine of his lips, the mulled mead of his skin and the healing water of his eyes. Painters everywhere would rejoice at the thought of being given the honour to capture such beauty.  Merlin turned to face him, the light gleaming as it caught the reflection of his eyes for a moment.  He handed Gaius a slip of parchment.

“Merlin, I have studied this amulet and it shows signs of an even more powerful magic than the charm we encountered previously. The…erm” Gaius coughed slightly “last course of action would not work this time I fear. Besides, did you not see her in the council chamber earlier? I highly doubt that she’d be willing.” Arthur hadn’t the faintest idea who Gaius was talking about; he was too fixated on Merlin’s discerning gaze. Merlin strode swiftly past him to the door, gesturing for Arthur to follow. As they were leaving, Gaius’s voice called out to them.

“Keep him away from the king at all costs! We can deal with Arthur’s problem after we’ve dealt with yours.”

“My what?” Arthur began but Merlin shoved him out of the door with surprising strength and ferocity for a supposedly feeble injured man.

*

Merlin skipped a stone across the lake surface, balancing precariously on his crutch as he watched the stone bounce in three graceful arcs before dropping beneath the surface and out of sight.

“Excellent shot my love!” Merlin gritted his teeth and turned to look at Arthur, who sat happily on the shore of the lake and began applauding lightly. Attempting a smile that no doubt came across as a grimace, Merlin hobbled over to where the prince sat. The lake had seemed a wondrous idea as it was secluded and peaceful however nothing could alleviate the unease between the two of them. Arthur may not feel it in his current state and for that Merlin envied him. Arthur’s smitten gaze never left him, avoid it as Merlin might he could still feel it. His back was beginning to ache and he leant back to lie upon the soft grass but something much warmer met his head instead. Arthur had lain down simultaneously so Merlin’s head rested against his chest. Instinctively, Merlin jolted upright and was met with a protesting pain from his back but Arthur’s hands found his shoulders and gently laid him back down.  The gentle thrum of Arthur’s heart calmed him as he tried to calm his own and attempted to synchronise their breathing. A lazy whirlpool of calm pulled him under tenderly, easing his struggling and allowing him to simply enjoy the moment by drowning his worries. The occasional fear that Morgana way walk by or worse, Uther, bubbled up but Arthur somehow sensed his panic and brushed his hand across Merlin’s. Thoughts fought to surface in Merlin’s mind but Arthur beat them all, that single thought prevailed above all others. Clouds drifted idly across the sky, never eclipsing the dazzling sunlight that reflected off the calm lake surface. Everything was like a dream, lying with Arthur by the lakeside as they forgot all the worries in the world but it was a dream Merlin had dreamed of far too often to be real.

_It isn’t real, he’s charmed you fool._

A small voice of sanity wittered pointlessly, Merlin was content with not listening.

_It will never be real, only a real simpleton would fall in love with a prince._

In love? Merlin was not in love with Arthur, it was just a simple dream. Almost an infatuation, though less severe of course. He would never say that he was in love; there were simply no words to describe his feelings towards Arthur.

_An overwhelming desire to protect him?_

Obviously, they both had an issue with that. The fact that they were both still living proved that.

_A physical attraction?_

Of course not! Well maybe… even Merlin could admit that Arthur was physically appealing. The strong physique and chiselled features alone were enough to make half the ladies of the court swoon. 

_The men too it seems_

Merlin was not _swooning_ over him. He was also not in love with him, of that he was quite sure. All the songs and tales that spoke of love characterised it as singular, only one can occupy a mind completely. Merlin had loved Freya, the girl he had laid to rest in this very lake, more than anything. He had been wholly prepared to leave everything behind, even the prince lying blissfully beneath him, to spend his life with her. He was still prepared to do just that.  Love was also described as absolute, the only thing you could be fully sure of in life. Merlin was uncertain about Arthur, surely he could not love him. A love for Arthur would never be requited; it would be pointless and idiotic. Even lying with him was wrong, traitorous even, when he was not in his right mind.

“Merlin, I need to tell you something.” Merlin swallowed thickly, his throat becoming dry as he nervously held his breath.

“You’ve been avoiding my gaze for a while now and you cannot tell me what’s troubling you. I have entertained to the idea that you may be upset about what happened on the way back from Cenred’s castle. I just wanted to say that I understand how much you’ve sacrificed for me and it only felt fair to do the same. If you do not share my feelings then I will be content with knowing that you have chosen what you truly wish for and that is the only thing that matters. If on the remarkable chance that you return these indescribable feelings then we will find a way to share every moment together, no matter what my father or anyone says about rank or gender. I intend to govern a kingdom where no man will be judged on the title he holds but on the compassion. You have shown again and again that you outrank all men in compassion and humility and there is no man that I would rather share my life with. What I am truly trying to say, Merlin, is that I am truly thankful; for everything that you have done.”  Arthur didn’t sound forced or charmed; he sounded honest, as if he was baring his soul to Merlin who simply stared at it, dumfounded. The euphoric swell of hope rose once again in his stomach and he barely dared to believe it but believe it he did.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’d quite like to kiss you again.” Merlin didn’t mind, not one little bit. He turned onto his front to meet Arthur’s enamoured gaze and Arthur’s hand that had been resting on Merlin’s arm moved to his head, weaving his fingers through Merlin’s ebony hair. Their warm breath melded in the air as they leaned in closer, apprehension running through Merlin’s veins like an ice cold poison.

“Merlin! Sire!” Merlin immediately launched himself backwards with as much force as he could muster, landing awkwardly on his injured leg with a small hiss of pain. Gaius suddenly loomed over, his face betraying concern. After helping Merlin to his feet, Gaius looked curiously between the two of them but Merlin cautioned him with a small shake of the head.

“I’ve researched the love spell and I think I’ve discovered what we’re dealing with!” Emotions duelled in Merlin’s mind, neither triumphing over the other. They could break the love spell!

_You don’t want it broken_

Numbness set in as Merlin realised that his mind spoke the truth. He really didn’t want the love spell broken, selfish as that may be he simply could not go on with his life pretending that he didn’t care for Arthur as he did.

“The spell, unlike the last we dealt with, is not so easily broken because Arthur actually feels love! These spells cannot create love out of nothing, hence why Arthur could only feel infatuation towards Vivian and nothing more. However this spell does not manufacture love, it develops what is already present.”

“You mean Arthur actually feels something for me?” The words escaped Merlin’s mouth before he fully realised what was happening.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

*

 Facing a future without Arthur had always been inevitable; he had to marry for the good of the kingdom and preparing herself for Arthur’s marriage had been part of her daily life. Though it seems that no preparation could prepare her for this day; it hurt more than she could have ever possibly imagined. Gwen had always taken comfort knowing that when Arthur did get married, it would be purely dutiful. She would never have to see him love another. This was worse, so much worse. Seeing him happy with another was more than she could bear. She could have found peace knowing that Arthur needed her just as much as she needed him.  Knowing that he would mourn if she were gone, that his world would be even slightly diminished, comforted her beyond belief. Of course, that had been before Merlin’s disappearance. Without her, he would still have Merlin. His life would carry on, full of peace and devotion whilst hers would crumble. Voices echoed down the corridor, delight ringing clear through each syllable, the unmistakably loud and obnoxious voice of Prince Arthur triumphing in its quest to claim her attention. Gaius’s softer, more docile tones were more difficult to hear, but as Gwen focused on his voice she could hear equal exhilaration. Upon hearing the third voice, Gwen abandoned the cloth she was holding to rush towards the source of the voices. The three men stood in the stone chamber, laughter and jubilation echoing off the curved walls, but her eyes drifted over Arthur and Gaius to land on Merlin; words fell seamlessly from his lips as if the past days had been nothing. 

“Gwen!” Merlin’s exclamation made her face crinkle into a smile, all ill feeling fading into delight for her friend’s improved condition. He hobbled towards her on his makeshift crutch, his face full of astonishment and awe.

“Can you believe it? It just came back!” She hugged him carefully, taking care not to harm his balance.

“It’s a miracle Merlin, it truly is.” He and Arthur left, Merlin shouting gleefully as Arthur purposefully raced off without him, leaving only Gaius and Gwen.

“What’s happening with those two?” She asked Gaius, true puzzlement clear in her voice. You could never tell with Merlin and Arthur, it was difficult to categorise their relationship; it was simply immune to every label you could throw at it. Friends, lovers, simply master and servant; all descriptions were false and yet equally true. Gaius stayed silent for a long time, clearly engaged in deep thought, before he answered.

“I wish I knew truly, however I fear I never will.” His gaze was sympathetic and Gwen couldn’t stand it. She desired no pity or comforting words, they couldn’t rectify her situation. The situation was too complicated, a tapestry woven with both joy and despair though it seems the threads of despair held her the closest whilst the joy entwined Arthur with Merlin.

*

“You will be very pleased to know that I have discovered a way to break the enchantment.” Gaius’s words hit Merlin like a spiked mace, if the enchantment was a true reflection of Arthur’s own feelings then there should be no reason that it couldn’t stay. It was not hugely damaging, Arthur had shown that he could control it to an extent so there was no danger of revealing any of it to Uther. The nagging little voice in Merlin’s head reminded him constantly that the enchantment needed to go; he could not force Arthur to love him. To let it continue would be as bad as placing one on Arthur himself. His stomach twisted and knotted at the thought, the enchantment had to be broken for the good of Camelot and for Arthur.

“It will be extremely difficult as it cannot be broken by magic, only Arthur himself can overcome it. You need to show him that a romance will never work, he has to fall out of love with you himself.” Merlin sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, ice spreading through his body until his blood was frozen.

“Arthur has to… fall out of love with me? Isn’t the enchantment preventing him from doing that?”

“The enchantment is powerful yes but it cannot truly create love. If Arthur were to cease loving you, the enchantment would have nothing to amplify. It would be broken. I am truly sorry Merlin, if there was another way I’d-“

“I understand, Gaius. I have to try, for the good of the kingdom.” Gaius was a true blessing, he had shown nothing but understanding throughout the whole sorry mess. He had given Merlin yet another reason to be indebted to him yet he asked for nothing in return, unless Merlin counted the endless chores which he would prefer not to. The task before him seemed more daunting than facing the most terrible beasts or the most impossible odds.  Convincing Arthur that he didn’t truly love him was simply unattainable; Merlin had been lying all his life and yet he could not utter this one falsehood. Submerging himself in the icy lake seemed a more preferable option. The same lake where they had lay, revelling in the pure bliss of each other’s company. A jousting lance of pain twisted in his gut, hitting every vital organ he possessed as if the pain in his heart was not enough to make him suffer.

*

A soft breeze ruffled the gossamer curtains of Morgana’s chamber, turning her attention to the open window. Scanning the vicinity for any unlucky witnesses, she closed it gently and filled the shimmering dish with water. Upon her command, the water swirled and boiled to form the image of her half-sister peering up at her with expectant features.

“You’ll be pleased to know that the charm if in full effect. Arthur is besotted and Uther is furious. I cannot be long until word of this gets out.” The corner of Morgause’s mouth curled upwards in a dastardly grin, her sister was most pleased as she predicted.

“Excellent, we cannot lose. If the kingdom hears of this, Arthur will be disgraced and Merlin sent away from court. The charm is potent, Arthur will not leave Merlin at all and he will leave with him. Uther will lack an heir and the kingdom will be ripe for the taking.” Morgana smiled down at her sister. Her moment of triumph was close; soon the whole land would bow before her, the rightful heir.  She would be rid of the insolent fool and his meddling servant at last, they pretended to be her friends for so long but now her sight was clear. They never were; they schemed and plotted against her and now, they would get what they deserved.

*

Arthur stood silent, leaning against the window frame and staring into the courtyard below. The light shining through the window illuminated the angular lines of his torso. Merlin’s eyes fixated on the ceiling upon entrance, avoiding the very person he came here to see. Arthur noticed him of course, he always does.

“Ah, Merlin! Is your voice still going strong?”

“Strong as ever, sire.” Merlin’s voice wavered and cracked, falling broken to the floor for Arthur to step on as he approached Merlin.

“Well it doesn’t sound like it, give it time and I would try to rest it.” He took Merlin’s hands in his own, brushing the smooth new leather of his gloves across Merlin’s calloused fingertips. Merlin could feel his gaze brushing across his head, seeking out his eyes, and yet he looked at the cold floor. A gentle touch under his chin raised his head to Arthur’s appraising eyes. Merlin looked him in the eyes directly, keeping his face passive as he kept his purpose in mind. The soft expression on Arthur’s face was replaced by one of concern, his brow creasing as the smile slid away.

“What troubles you?” His hand brushing along Merlin’s jaw as it came to rest, cupping his cheek. Merlin sighed and restrained himself from leaning into the touch. He should walk away, deliver harsh words from the corner of the room and spare himself the pain of looking into Arthur’s devoted stare. The floor gripped his feet, fixing him firmly in place, and he knew that he needed to let it happen. Though as he opened his mouth to speak, his words dissolved into his heart; he couldn’t lie to Arthur, no matter what the kingdom required. The kingdom never gave him anything in return, only took away every ounce of happiness he could find. Freya, Morgana and even Arthur it seems were ripped from his life for the good of the kingdom. He should just leave it all behind, forget the pull of his destiny and run to a safe haven. Arthur would come with him, he just had to ask. Realisation burned through him like a mouthful of bitter medicine, Arthur would leave the kingdom if Merlin did. If the charm was not broken, Uther would send him away for sure and Arthur would leave with him. Morgana would finally achieve what she wanted, Arthur gone forever. He couldn’t leave and leave Camelot to fall into ruin, there were too many good people; too many innocent people. They didn’t deserve to suffer for his selfishness.

“Arthur…” he began, sucking in a shaking breath to deliver the blow to both of them “we can never be together.” Arthur’s face fell further, hurt beginning to blossom in his expression.

“I want to be, believe me…I _really_ want to. Uther would never allow it, the kingdom would never support it and you need to become the king, Arthur. Become the king that Camelot needs and bring peace and prosperity to its people. You’ll be loved and respected and people will _remember_ you for years to come. I’ll always be by your side but I cannot be seen to be, you need a queen. Someone for the people to adore, not a serving boy.” Arthur made as if to speak but failed, releasing Merlin’s face and letting his hand fall. Merlin took it and covered it with both hands.

“But promise me something; find a queen that loves you. A queen that you can be happy with, that’s all I ask.” When Arthur spoke, his voice was soft and steady.

“I understand, Merlin. The kingdom needs me to become a great king. But know this” He leaned forward suddenly, capturing Merlin’s lips between his own in a fleeting kiss. “I will never cease to love you. Not the same way I love Gwen, and I do love Gwen truly, but in a unique and impossible way; nothing could ever surpass it. In the next life, things will be different and nothing will stand in my way.” A lone, solitary teardrop fell from Merlin’s eyes as he tried to blink away the sudden well of tears. Arthur pressed his forehead against Merlin’s, savouring the moment in silence for a long while before Merlin spoke with a falsely cheery voice.

“I’ll hold you to that.”


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a very short epilogue to round things off. thank you so much for reading!

A car horn honked in the distance as Merlin sat on the grassy knoll by the lakeside, his wrinkled hands skimming over a smooth pebble before tossing it into the water. He gazed out over the smooth surface of the lake, glaring at it as if it was to blame for Arthur’s death. 2000 years without his best friend had taken their toll, he thought to himself sadly; it appeared he was now shifting all blame onto inanimate objects. His weekly visit to the lake was becoming more difficult as his memory was fading. Preserving his memory of Arthur had been of the utmost importance, so he had been imagining that he was there in the lake just invisible to every oblivious passer-by; but not to Merlin. Merlin could picture him, just standing before him, complaining at the state of Merlin’s beard or his odd clothes; punching Merlin on the arm and laughing fondly like he always used to. If Arthur could see this world, Merlin thought to himself, he would be so lost. Guns instead of swords; it was probably for the best that Arthur couldn’t see it. The couple on the adjacent bank got up to leave, the taller man bending down slightly to kiss the top of the shorter man’s head before pushing him over with a laugh and sprinting away. As the second man chased after him, Merlin couldn’t help but feel the dull ache that had settled into his heart over the years. It was never a sharp sting anymore, only a scrape with a knife that had long since blunted. He rose from his crouch, picking up another stone and throwing it as he turned away.

“It’s the next life now, Arthur. Things will be different.” He waited for the familiar splash but it never came. Instead, a small long absent voice sounded inches from his ear.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

_Fin._


End file.
